Snarky Archies delivers rapid-fire, snarky goofy commentary about David Archuleta 24-7. We're fans of David even if we sometimes poke a little fun at him. Got some pictures, news or commentary you think we'd enjoy? E-mail us at wearethesnarkyarchies@gmail.com, or tweet us at @snarkyarchies. And don't forget to comment and immerse yourself in the glory of the Archuleta.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I love Lady GaGa and Air Force Amy and Priscilla Presley

(Yes, I am still on this.)

Just by posing in pictures with David, in mildly inappropriate ways -- hanging off him, David, king of sweetness and innocence, while they are either a) dressed in underwear, b) a porn star, or c) Elvis's ex-wife -- they are giving him such...cred. I don't even know. Like, it's funny as heck, and it's something NON-fans would find funny, and actually gets him really great publicity, because they might see the pics, which have been posted ALL OVER CELEBRITY GOSSIP BLOGS, which get HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS hits per day, think, 'Isn't that the cute kid from Idol? Ahahaha, what is this chick doing hanging off him?' and heck, they might even start YouTubing him in amusement, and once you start YouTubing David, you don't stop.


Do you know how much better he looks with these people posing with him (AND T-PAINE, and can we get a pic of him and KANYE?) than, say, Miley Cyrus or some Disney Star? I can't even accurately express why I'm so excited. I JUST AM.


Sunday, December 7, 2008

'A THOUSAND MILES' video at Tree Lighting!

Credit: jwipe

Video 2.
Video 3.
Video 4.
Video 5. (good quality)
Video 6.


Oh, my heart. MY HEART! This is just amazing. Idek, guys. KABOOOOM.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Dark Widow Of Graceland Feeds On Virginal Elvis


'At a Cedars-Sinai benefit last night at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza, the animated woodland creatures that typically accompany David Archuleta wherever he goes were shooed away by idol-feeding succubus Priscilla Presley, who quickly drained the rosy tint from his cheeks. Hours later, he arose from a shallow dirt grave to take on his new, immortal form -- as ELVISULA, Hip-Gyrating Prince of Darkness'


The Defamer was inspired by the NY Post, which also covered David's near-death experience:
I'm sorry to all the Priscilla Presley fans out there, but there is something so 'I need the blood of a young virgin' about this photo, I couldn't help myself. I mean, the claws nails, how she appears to be going right for David's jugular and of course, the catlike way with which the now feline-looking actress seems to have appeared out of nowhere to pounc on the adorable Archuleta.

But even in the face of being sucked dry, David remains a total pro - never grimacing or showing fear since it was all in the name of charity anyway.

Archuleta was 'attacked' at the fourth annual Road To A Cure Gala last night in Hollywood, which was in honor of David's 'American Idol' brother from another mother, Ryan Seacrest.

I wonder if the real reason Ryan likes hanging around David is because the 17-year-old's one of the only stars in town that makes Ryan look like a giant?

Monday, November 24, 2008

David and a prostitute.

Should I ship David and Air Force Amy, a legal prostitute in Nevada, pornographic actress, and adult model, considered one of the top earners in Nevada's legalized brothel business?

Dang, Dave. Nice. Nice. I see you have a real smile goin' on there. They make such a lovely couple!


David: '[singing under his breath as photo is taken] What if God was one of us? Just a slu...uh, slOB like one of us. haha. Sorry! Flubbed the lyrics again, happens AAAAALLLL the time, dangit. haha'
Air Force Amy: 'Why, aren't you adorable? You know, I could teach you how to never flub anything ever again...'
Jeff: 'CUT!'
David: 'Wait! What do you mean?'
Jeff: 'OUT! OVER! FINIS!' *drags David home*
David: 'But Dad!'
Air Force Amy: 'Le sigh.'

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Excite's David Day!

Not only did she keep us updated yesterday, but she EVEN FORMATTED HER WRITE-UP FOR ME. SHE BASICALLY IS QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE. BOW BEFORE HER. <333333 to Excite!

Click the photo to read her awesome recap!

(Notice the note from Mom on the billboard.)

Before I share the stories, pictures, and videos, I just wanted to say that I feel incredibly blessed and honored to have spent the whole day on 11/11 following David around NYC. I felt so emotional on the train ride home after the day was over. I wish it never ended. On the morning of 11/11, however, I was thinking, 'what the heck am I doing?' I woke up at 2:30 AM, because I was too excited to sleep anymore and I was on a 5:00 AM train to see David. If someone had told me last year that I would be following a teenager around for a whole day, I would have thought they were crazy. But only David has that kind of effect on people. He has certainly captured my heart and is so very dear and special to me. David is such a great inspiration who has definitely changed my life for the better and simply put, he makes me happy.
I can remember the first time I heard David when he sang Oh Holy Night and what he has accomplished so far is really quite phenomenal. He's waited for this his whole life and now it's finally happening for him. He has a gift and in my opinion it is a gift from God. His spirit was amazingly contagious and the Archuglow was out in full force! Seriously he was gorgeous and BEAMING. He looked like a superstar and I am so unbelievably proud of him! Throughout the day, and especially at the Virgin Mega Store CD signing, I felt like I was at a huge holiday party where everyone was having a great time sharing a lot of happiness and laughter. It warms my heart just thinking about it.

Waiting in line to get the wristbands at the Virgin Mega Store:

The first person on the line was actually a guy that arrived at 8 PM the previous night. I was amazed at the amount of guys that were waiting in the morning. They came in groups of 2-3 and I was instantly enthralled. I spoke with a bunch of them and they were just as excited about meeting David as anyone else. Apparently, guys in the NYC metropolitan area are not afraid to claim their love for David. I was squeeing internally.
The crowds were so huge that people walking by were amazed and kept asking why we were waiting outside in the freezing cold. and yes everyone got frost bite and my body still hurts SO BADLY from yesterday, but it was all worth it. So the responses were incredible when we told them we were waiting for David Archuleta and that his CD was coming out today. New Yorkers are probably one of the toughest group of people to impress, so I was happy when people were saying things like, 'oh yeah, I remember that kid from American Idol. He can sing!' or 'He should have won. Do you think he was robbed?' or people were just honestly interested and favorable towards David.

The Today Show:
After we bought our CD's and got our wristbands, we ran to the Today Show which was a few blocks away. We were relieved to find out that David hadn't performed yet and that there were a bunch of screens where we could watch him perform. He came outside after he finished singing and the look on his face was of pure joy. He was waving to everyone and was so incredibly happy!!!! David only signed autographs for half the crowd and of course my side was the one he didn't go to. But it was all good, because I was content just watching him interact with the crowd and I knew there would be other opportunities throughout the day to see him again.
Some little tidbits: A lady asked Jeff why David didn't have a warmer coat on and he said something like, 'This is nothing. He's used to the cold since we are from Utah.' Someone made a poster about David being Captain Crunch and he thought it was so hilarious. There was a little girl standing on our side who kept yelling, 'David!' like a banshee. It was funny how that kind of voice came out of such a little person. We met Al Roker and the lady host whose name I can't remember. It was cool to see the behind the scenes things that were happening. The crew seemed like they had a blast working with each other every day.
After David left, we went in the back of the studios to see if we could catch him before he went in his car. Instead, we found an amazing surprise waiting for us in the back. THE BAND!!!!! They were just about to get in their van, but they came out and took pictures for everyone. Someone asked them what they thought of David and they said that he was a great kid and that they really liked him. The look on their faces when they talked about David was really genuine and I could tell that they really did care about him. All of the guys were so incredibly nice, nothing pretentious about them at all. They seemed really fun and like guys you would hang out with every day. I don't believe in coincidences and feel that David is meant to have those particular guys in his band. I can't wait to get to know them better!

We had a break until TRL, so we went to get some food and drinks to warm up. The bulk of our day was spent at the TRL studios. Sometime in the afternoon, two girls saw David Cook walking down the street and got pictures with him. No one knows if both Davids saw each other yesterday, but I'm thinking probably not since our David was so busy throughout the day at various events. So David arrived in the back entrance at around 1:00 PM and he looked so happy and shy coming out of his car. It's like he still can't believe that people are waiting outside just to get a glimpse of him.
One of my favorite parts of the day was when the huge crowd of Arch Angels kept chanting 'Da-vid, Da-vid, Da-vid' and 'Ar-chu-leta' and 'Who do we want? – David – and when do we want him? – Now!' haha you get the point. All of these chants were led by really enthusiastic guys that loved David. It was awesome! The Arch Angels were taking over Times Square. We created quite a stir!!

Again, people were stopping and asking what was going on, because it's not like this every day in NYC. Tons of people don't just gather around and stop for just anyone. The Naked Cowboy was across the street and New Yorkers didn't even so much as bat an eyelash as they walked past him. Another guy had a snake around his neck and no one gave him a second thought, but when people are there for David, it's like they can't help but be pulled in by the Archuforce.
The lady that was handling the tickets for TRL was really strict and didn't let anyone in that was on stand-by. All we could do was watch David on the big screen across the street. There was no sound, so everyone sang along with him! People were asking what the name of the song was and saying that it was catchy. haha and they haven't even heard David sing it yet. The cameras were being panned around and I was shown on TV! That was cool. I was also on TV during the Today Show.

After TRL was over, David was taping miTRL and then another MTV show whose name I can't remember right now (it might be MADE or True Life). By this time, everyone's hands and legs were cramped and frostbitten. Some girls even started crying because it was hurting them so badly. They still didn't want to leave though, because they wanted a chance to meet David. Everyone kept screaming every time the double doors opened, because we thought it was him. In the meantime, we were talking with the police officers that were there to control the crowd and protect David from the crazy fans. It was really hilarious because T-Pain was also taping for TRL and he had 3 people waiting for him outside while there was a mob of David fans.
When T-Pain came out, he rushed into his car and didn't even acknowledge his fans. The police officers were saying that David would do the same thing, but we kept telling them that David is not like the typical artist. He cares about and loves his fans and they were in for a surprise. One of the security guys told us that David was coming out soon and that we better behave ourselves or else. LOL We were so delirious from waiting out in the cold for so long that this was the end result when he finally came out:

I was so happy, because I had the chance to give David the letter that I wrote to him. When I met him in Bridgeport, I gave him a 4 1/2 page letter on stationery paper. This letter was 4 pages, so I am getting better at writing shorter letters to him lol. But it's like I have so many things I want him to know about how he has changed my life.
ok my body is still trying to recuperate from yesterday, so I will have to write about the Virgin Mega Store tomorrow. I also have 4 more videos to share, 3 of which are of David singing along to his own songs. I was seriously elated, because we know how David is when he hears himself sing. There was nothing stopping him on that day from being completely ecstatic. You could feel it in his whole being. I have never seen him so excited and happy before.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Amy's album review.

It gets really stringy towards the end because I sorta lose my will to review. :D Click the photo for the review.

Dave's gonna take anyone who disses his album.

Touch My Hand

Voice: I love his lower register here! And his falsetto! He hits like, all ends of the spectrum, and I think I just revealed HOW LITTLE I KNOW ABOUT SINGING. But he's so low and deep on the verses and then suddenly he goes all HIGH -- "all be OVER" and I'm like, OOH LA LA, yes, sir. I also enjoy how he sings "people" and "somethin' 'bout your beautiful face" and the "sparkle of a million flashlights, a wonderwall of staaaaaaaars." He pronounces some words so beautifully.

Music: I love the music. A lot! I love how it feels like it needs more guitar -- I'm expecting more guitar. But there's not, and it's this happy, catchy, uplifting piano and I sooo just wanna see David at the piano, rockin' and boppin' to this, but I know he'll probably forgo the piano and be reaching out to touch hands, and you can't do that at the piano. But oh! Can't you just see him, like, shimmying in his piano seat, bobbing his head and rockin' out hardcore?

Lyrics: This is probably my main issue with the song, in the way that they are...cheeeeesy. But I do love the second verse for some reason, so much more than the first. "I see the sparkle of a million flashlights, a wonderwall of stars"? "Wonderwall of stars" is probably my favorite line from the whole CD, mostly because it makes me think "Wonderwall" by Oasis and I love pretty much any song with stars in them. I don't know why. It's my favorite subject matter.

Highlights: A wonderwall of stars. His falsetto at the end! "Somethin' 'bout your beautiful FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE." Gorgeous! Gorgeous!

Any gripes? Eh, the lyrics, "Try to reach out, touch my hand. Reach out as far as you can." It feels so goofy to me. I dunno why. I like, "Can't let the music stop, can't let this feeling end," but the "reach out as far as you can" rhyming with "hand" seems soooo contrived to me.



Voice: AHHHH. Don't even -- I don't even know where to START. From the first "yeeeeeeah, mmmmmm" -- AHHHH. "Chokin'" "hittin'" "broken'". AND HE PUTS THIS REGGAE TWIST ON "eyes." EYESUH. And then, and then -- "WELL, THERE'S A TIME FOR GIVIN' UP, DIDN'T WANNA HAVE TO SAY IT." And "LOCK!" and "CRIMES!" and "TEARS!" and the "ooohoooh" before "BARRIERS." Like, this is AWESOME. And "creepin' in the doubt." Oh my gosh. "But, baby, I don't THINK so." And then he says "car" all British-like, and the second "didn't wanna have to say IIIIIT." He put in all these little runs and David twists, and it makes the song SO HIS, even if it's not a song you'd normally think he'd sing? And -- AND THE WAY HIS VOICE CRACKS -- "Now we keep runnin' into, been tryin' just we JUST can't break through, I know I'm gonna keep wishin' I was with yooou, but we just gotta STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP." OH. SO EMOTIONAL. And it "feeeeeeeeeeeeeels so gooooooooood." And his "tooooOOoooOOOOOO many liiiiiiiies" at the end reminds me of his part in "Seasons of Love." Like, really, I think this is PERFECTION. PERFECTION. His voice is AMAZING here.

Music: I can't even pay attention to the music because I'm too busy listening to David. I like the underlying piano. And the rat-tat-tat drums Kim mentioned in her review. And I like what sounds like a triangle in the background -- a little "ping" "ping" and then a random...it sounds like a violin? I don't know instruments; all I know is this song is AMAZING.

Lyrics: OK, some of these lyrics are a bit cheesy, BUT IT MATTERS NOT, because he sings them SOOOO emotionally. Like, he could be singing nonsense to me, and I would think this is amazing. This is so good that I don't even pay attention to the lyrics. However, the subject matter makes me think of "Burn" by Usher -- you know a relationship isn't working even if you don't wanna leave that person. I will say, though, that some of the lyrics imply a...deeper relationship than I would have imagined David singing about. For example, "lying here" and our "last final goodnight"? I will assume they are lying in a park, underneath the stars. Yes. And singing together is what "feeeeeeeels so good." :)

Highlights: THE ENTIRE SONG. But the BIGGEST highlights might be his runs at the end and the way his voice just BREAKS with emotion on the bridge. Huzza huzza!

Any gripes? NONE. A+++++++++++++++++


My Hands

Voice: I love his voice here. It's kinda husky, and again, you can feeeeeeel the emotion. He brings the perfect amount of feeling to the subject matter. He comes across as kinda flat, sad, matter-of-fact -- and then the chorus happens and it's like "OHHHHH, please hold on to his hands, girl!" I love the "caaaaaaaaaaan." I really believe he tried every way he can. I love how he says "clock" and "channel-uh" and the random "uhs" throughout the song. Mmm, yes. And the second verse, "I'm outside in this cold, still lookin' for you, oohhhhhhh." OH. GOSH. SOMEONE, HUG HIM. BB IS HURTING. I DO NOT LIKE BB TO HURT, BUT HIS VOICE IS INCREDIBLE WHEN HE IS HURTING.

Music: Love the music! Love it. This is my kinda song, the tempo and whatever is going on here, it just -- it's the kinda of music that draws me in, and I think it blends beautifully with David's voice. Nothing really stands out to me, though, except for the guitar right as he's saying, "It's harder to hold on." It's kinda frantic and awesome.

Lyrics: These are amazing lyrics. They tell a story. The time metaphors in the first verse, all about stopping time. A lot of people missed that because of the sorta ridiculous nature of the time stoppage -- watch behind the tire? Alarm clock inside the fireplace? But the lyrics actually make it very clear in the second verse -- "anything to show time has gone." I feel like this is a song anyone can relate to, as well, especially a senior in high school, or anyone else on the verge of a new life. You're afraid of moving on and losing what you already have and love. It's really kinda of beautiful.

Highlights: The Weather Channel reference and chorus, ahhhhh. Actually, all the lyrics. So amazing.

Any gripes? None. This is definitely one of my favorites. I adore it. It gets me every time.


You Can

Voice: I love the tone and warmth of David's voice. I love his enunciation -- the way he says "tomorrow" and "askED" -- hard consonants. And his voice is so vulnerable and mellow and sweet and sincere and it just fills me up inside. There's no over-singing here. Just simple, clean...and the vulnerability. It's not raw, it's too smooth to be raw. But there's a rawness here.

Music: There's so much I love about this song. I love the guitar. It's absolutely gorgeous. I'm really surprised Jive let such a pure acoustic song on the album, but it's really a dream. David's voice is just so FULL against an acoustic backing. I'd love to see him sitting on stage, playing the guitar.

Lyrics: This reminds me of the concept behind "One Sweet Love" by Sara Bareilles. It's not about a certain person -- it's about that perfect love. It's about waiting on that perfect love and being afraid and vulnerable about maybe not finding that love that you want so, so bad. Basically, it's perfect for David, who's said before that he doesn't really GET high school relationships, that he's waiting for the right time and person. I am just so impressed this song fits that so well.

Highlights: My favorite parts...oh gosh, definitely right at the beginning, the opening. It just fills me. The "mmmmmm" is so delicate and warm, and the opening lines are just spectacular. I ADORE this part: 'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can... Baby, when you look at me..." How the chorus flows into the verse? Oh GOSH. The falsetto at the end is spectacular because it's riding on the smoothness of everything else. And the ending line, meeting the opening lines? Oh oh oh, spectacular.

Any gripes? I have issues with "sailing in your deepest eyes." This makes no sense. It's sung beautifully, but sailing is a poor verb choice. Floating would have worked better. You don't sail in someone's eyes...?



Voice: I love his voice on this kind of music, mostly because I think this is the type of song all those naysayers would say he couldn't do. Any song that starts out with the word "maaaaaafiaaaaa" does not seem like a David Archuleta song. But he owns this. I don't really feel the emotion here, like I do in My Hands and Barriers, but his voice sounds kinda rough and raw here, too. He also enunciates less here, but it goes with the feel of the music. I don't really have any specific vocal parts that stand out to me. I like the falsettos and his voice. I think it's awesome how well his voice blends with this kind of music, too. OH. I like when his making all the "OOOOOOOOOOHS" at the end. It kinda gives me chills.

Music: I really love the music here. It seems very simple to me -- piano and guitar. But the beat is R&B or something.

Lyrics: "I got my good shoes," "I'm about to navigate straight to your heart" -- AHAHAA, LOVE IT. I love it! I love how some of the lyrics don't really scream DAVID to me, but neither did "With You" and I loved David on that song. At least there's no "lil mama" and "boo." I'd love a "boo," though, not gonna lie.

Highlights: "I'm gonna navigate straight to you." AAHAHA.

Any gripes? None!



Voice: His voice seems deep and lush on this. I love how he sings "IT'S TIME TO FAAAAACE IT." "You can't go back, you'll fine your way" makes me think he could sing rock surprisingly well. Rock out, sugarplum!

Music: ...not a huge fan of the music. Sounds like a really dramatic video game, though! It just seems to dramatic to me, but the song is dramatic, and I do like to hear what David sounds like on this kinda song. But it seems soooo dramatic. Best example I can come up with is it seems Linkin Parky to me.

Lyrics: I am curious what David uses to relate to this song. I bet a friend. That is usually all I can think about when listening to the song -- "I wonder what David is thinking about."

Highlights: Nothing really stands out too much to me.

Any gripes? Maybe just how dramatic the music is, but I think I'm the only one who feels this way. :)


To Be With You

Voice: I love how simple and contained his voice is here. Very little embellishment, and it brings a very real sweetness to this song. He's singing so delicately, but strongly, and it's gorgeous. I almost must confess I love the way he sings, "Wonderin' how you look in this light." It sorta gives me chills. It's really beautiful. I like Kara's voice, too. She's a great singer. OH, and I LOVE how he says "restless road." Ohh, chills. And he says "journey" beautifully, too. OH, and "HOLDING YOU FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, NEVER LETTING GO, WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO FEEL THAT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYuh." OH. That WAAAAAAY. The way he ENDS it. It's so RAW and ohhhhhhh gosh, it gets me every time. I can feel the power right there.

Music: Simple, gorgeous.

Lyrics: I like this the same way I like "You Can." It's a beautiful love ballad, but not one that David can't fully relate to, because it's about that future, perfect love, and again, it reminds me of "One Sweet Love" by Sara Bareilles. It's gorgeous and moving and touching and everything amazing about David wrapped in a beautiful, simple package.

Highlights: "Way." "How you look in this light." "Restless road." Oh gosh.

Any gripes? None.

Don't Let Go

Voice: Kim pointed out he sounds like JC here and I ADORE IT. He sorta groans out the lyrics in a lot of places, and I had no idea he could do that so successfully. It's awesome.

Music: I really like the music. The piano's lovely. That's pretty much all I have to say.

Lyrics: I like the lyrics a lot! I love how in the first verse, "feel your heart beat through the door" becomes "heal your heart break through the door." CLEVER.

Highlights: The JC-esque voice!

Any gripes? None!


Your Eyes Don't Lie

Voice: Ahahaha, oh my gosh, I love his voice here. It's so snappy. I love the "mmmmmm" in the background! I love how is voice is, like, ashy David, but strong and SASSY and "speshul" and "jell-us, OH" and he draws out the "s" and "ussss" and "you were never really out of love with me" and the falsettos at the end and the random "mmms" and the "YEAH, BABY, I WUH-ILL" and "and you never wuh-ill, girrrrrrl." AH. Best line EVER, it gets me every time.

Music: Oh the music! I'm a bit fan of the whistle, not gonna lie (these eye don't lie). I can whistle along!

Lyrics: The lyrics are fine. Don't do too much for me, except that it's amazing to hear David singing a song like this.

Highlights: "And you never will, girrrrrl."

Any gripes? No!


Forgot A Little Too Not Over You

Voice: I always love his voice, but I REALLY LOVE IT HERE. Again, I'm getting a lot of emotion out of this. The same way I was getting emotion out of "My Hands." It's kinda, "I'm trying to be indifferent, but I can't." I ADORE THE WAY HE SINGS, "And I turn around, you're with him now." Like, there is more power in that NOW than there is in half the junk I hear on the radio. And the bridge! OH! All the "OOHHHH" and "YEAAAAHH" and "UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAND." Just -- kill me now, David, you're amazing. I could listen to this on repeat forever. Actually, I already have done that. It's the song I kept going back to. I just love it more and more every time I hear it. It's sweeping and emotional and blunt and in your face and amazing. And his voice. David's voice at it's best, possibly. Up there with "Barriers." There's so much David here.

Music: I've had issues with the "eh eh oh ohs" before, but after repeated listens, I've sorta almost started to like them? Shocking. Other than that, I love the -- I don't even know what's making that noise in the background, but it goes perfectly with his inflection and it's awesome. I love how the music explodes on the chorus, on the "TELL ME WHYYYYYYYYYY," because it never overpowers his voice -- it lifts it up. Amazing, amazing.

Lyrics: It's actually an interesting song, content-wise. I don't know how many songs I've heard from a guy's perspective that follow this subject matter? It's sorta -- I missed the boat, I missed the chance, we've moved on, but I'm a little too not over it. It's fascinating, because there never was a relationship -- just the possibility of one? Just a smidgen, just some longing. Maybe sorta like "Teardrops On My Guitar" by Taylor Swift. It's like a guy's version, with no names and much stronger, manlier lyrics. I really love it.

Highlights: "And I turn around, you're with him now." Seriously? I also really love the "And I really don't know what to do" at the end. It seems very spontaneous, the way he sings it. Like -- just this bubble of EMOTION popping out of his mouth.

Gripes? None. It used to be the "eh eh oh ohs," but now I have accepted them and moved on.

I'm not going to review Crush and Angels. However, I think they are the perfect bookends to the album. I'll also add the bonus tracks once I've heard them. :)

Added "ALTNOY"! I forgot it the first time. D:

Also, Kim's awesome review. Hers is tons better than mine.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Kim's Word is Law!

haha, j/k, you can disagree. but... my word is still law. XD

I need to do a comprehensive review, so. Here I go. I will add to this later possibly, or I might just do a new review after I've heard every song 100x or something (ETA: NO, I PROBABLY WON'T. This is sufficient... except for my review of "My Hands" which is sorely lacking. Also these opinions are subject to change, because I am fickle human being and things grow on me over time. So if I hated your favorite song, sorry.)

THE CHURCH FINALLY HAS HYMNALS, YO! \o/ THANK YOU JESUS 2.0!! We look forward to when we get to clone you and have Jesus 2.1 and 2.2 and 2.3 and 2.4 and so on. TRUST IT.

[ETA: my reviews are too long, I am separating them out by song, haha]

So Barriers is my favorite. It's hard to pick just one, but apparently not that hard, because I just did it, mothers! And let me tell you WHY:
1. the puns! the jokes! So fun! I keep saying this to people: There is amazing, and then this song broke the AMAZING BARRIER. GET IT? Because it is true. I want to fortify the fortress of Barriers with TOO MANY LOCKS. The other songs cannot breach its BARRIERS, okay?
2. Everytime I listen to it and I go "I really like this one, I should check which one this is" it is Barriers. ALWAYS BARRIERS. Barriers for LIFE.
3. The DRUMS. the little rat-a-tat-tat thing it does at 1:58/1:59
4. "the words got me chokin'" "this mountain we've been trying to climb, it's neverending" THE LYRICS, GUYS. THEY KILL ME. "it's our last! final! goodbye!" (aw, you try to convince yourself, but you won't win, David, cuz we're forever! FOREVERRRRR.)
6. This lyric: "cuz if I don't get into my car, I won't go very far"
7. the passion, where his voice breaks a little at 2:52! It gets me.
9. the whole last minute. does the world try to stop?
10. when he harmonizes with himself. it's beautiful. I want more davids! DAVID IN TRIPLICATE. GIMME IT.
11. "but baby, I don't THINK so" HAHAHA. OMG. I LOVE IT. HAHAHAH. YOU TELL HER, DAVID. *snap, snap, snap*
12. I keep thinking he is saying "bitch - trying but we just can't break through" but he is not. he is actually saying "been trying" but every. time. I hear it differently.
13. "if we don't open up our eyes, we're just pretending" awwww. love it. I love how his voice is a bit deeper there.

My Hands is getting a half-assed review, because I am having issues with this copy of the song, unfortunately, but I will come back to it.
1. THE WHOLE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF LYRICS. "accidentally on purpose" and the leaving his watch "behind the tire" REALLY. THE TIRE. REALLY? OKAY. LOLLLLLLLERSKATES.I have to say that "alarm clock inside the fire..............................................place" is the best lyric of my LIFE. I wish JC had written that lyric, because it seems like the kind of thing he would do. LOVE IT. DYING. LOVE IT.
2. the overuse of the word "hand" is hilariously awesome too. I don't actually know what he is saying yet, but I am pretty sure if I just say hand a half dozen times really fast, I'll be pretty close.
3. "my hands are hurting" awwww, bb.
4. Seriously, I keep quoting these lyrics, but they are amazing
5. I love the lower thread of singing below the main melody. I am always fond of lower registers, and this is no exception and it is so subtle there the whole time and pulls the listener along. GOD BLESS YOU DAVID.

Don't Let Go
So I knew right away this was the one JC wrote with David. This was the first song I listened to this morning on the way to work, and I literally thought it was a duet with JC and JC was the first singer. Turns out he just imparted his singing style instead. That makes a lot of sense, actually, because I am sure he would sing whatever he was writing to David and David probably subconsciously (or consciously even?) imitated that to some degree.
It's awesome though, because I love JC and I think they have overlapping styles of music. Also, JC is an incredibly talented vocalist just like David, so it all works.
There are a number of parts where David gets high and breathy and it is done SO WELL. He doesn't overdo it in those sections and he doesn't do those sections too often. Beautiful.
I think this is a really well done song.
I love the use of piano, which is a good way to help me like a song, by the way, because I am a sucker for piano. Also, it makes sense because both David and JC are piano people. I believe David should continue to incorporate piano into MANY of his songs now and in the future and forever and always.

Your Eyes Don't Lie
I like to call this song the "No Diggity/Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" song. The beginning hums remind me of "No Diggity" yet the whistles remind me of "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah." I firmly believe that the whistles hold this song back a bit, because when I ignore those whistles I LOVE THIS SONG. A LOT. But then I notice the whistles and it grates on me.
This is also a song that makes me think David could go R&B... vocally... and just never like... be physically in front of people while he sings it. Because you can't talk to him or look at him and think R&B.
"your eyes don't lie... and they never will girl" is like hilarious. This is so not what I am used to from David, because he is so... sweet, endearing, adorable, wee, wholesome. He just... this is why it was so hilarious when he did "With You" and actually had to say words like "boo" or "little mama." Don't get me wrong, I'll never be able to listen to Chris Brown again, because David trumped him SO HARD, but it was WATCHING him sing that kind of song that tripped people up, I am sure of this. This is why I am convinced that when he sings "With You" he is imagining his pancakes (shout out to "Vulture"). His pancakes are his "boo," his "little mama." Fact.
I like how he says "will" not "w-uhIH-ll" but "wehuhhhl" which is musically way more fun to hear, IMO.
I also really like the line "you were never really out of love with me." Just to share.

Not my favorite beginning of the far away sounding "Desperate" but as soon as he comes in, it's all good. This song reminds me of a Miley Cyrus style song. I wonder if this is the one that was written by the same people that Miley works with? Because if so, I can totally tell, and that's not a compliment.
I actually love Miley Cyrus a lot, and I love her songs, but they're HER style, not David's. I like this song a lot, no worries, David can do no wrong, but he has much better songs on this album (BARRIERS, ANYONE, ANYONE???). I think a big part of my problem with this song is it seems really formulaic - like I expect everywhere this song goes, musically speaking. The swells of music are timed like so many other of these sorts of songs. I don't know, it's fine, but I definitely think David can do way better.
Obviously his vocals are stunning as usual. And when they come in with the piano towards the end I really like it, but the addition of strings makes it more... what is the word I am looking for... I don't know, but the closest I can think of is "predictable."

Touch My Hand
This is probably in my top three of songs, I really love it, but at the same time it irritates me to PIECES. Why? Because I see where this is going ALREADY and I hate it. This is the kind of song that 50,000,000,000 fans are going to make youtube videos to. Youtube videos of them stretching their hands out to touch David's. There will be a lot of powerpoint-style transitions between their billion pictures of David reaching out to them, and then I will be forced to start a nuclear war with the world to end the madness.
I knooooow that if he sings this song in his tour or at places, this is the part where he wanders around the edges of the stage to REACH OUT TO THE PEOPLE in the song. And then I throw up in my mouth a little bit.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's a beautiful beautiful song, and I really REALLY love it to pieces BUT I CANNOT TAKE THIS FUTURE.
All you fans? Your beautiful faces? IT IS STILL NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT YOU, OKAY. STOP. LET'S LET IT STOP.
But anyway. I like the part about "don't let the music stop" because it reminds of "please don't stop the music" from the AI tour. It's a total shout out to all his AI buds. Really cute. In fact, I'm going to pretend that he is singing about it being "only you" as in all other 9 idol people... and they're just way on the other end of the stage. YAY! \o/
I also again like the part where he goes up in his voice. Awesome. Overall, I am in love with the parts where he really uses the edges of his voice - the higher times or the particularly lower times. I still love the middle, but I am all about the extremes of his voice the most.

To Be With YouI love the musical opening here, really beautiful. I like how David comes in with "I've been alone so many nights now." I feel that it is almost meant to be spoken, because it is very monotone, note-wise, at first. For the non-singers out there, it is actually possibly harder to sing the same note over and over than to run all over the place, because you have to DO something with it. You have to make each note stand out, even though it is the same note as the previous one. This could have sounded spoken, but it didn't. It sounded full and rich, because David would never do anything substandard vocally.
It's beautiful and quiet and pitch-perfect, but it still grows note-to-note, he still takes it somewhere. I LOVE YOU DAVID.
And I'm not going to lie, I want this chick to shut it, because I'd rather listen to David duet himself again. What I REAAALLY want is David in triplicate or MORE. Someday! I love listening to his lower parts though. I know he can really wail, and it's beautiful when he does, but I am glad for the opportunity to hear him take the lower track. I have a soft spot for bass singers, it comes from being an alto among other things, I guess, and so I get a thrill from listening to capable people sing low. Thank you, David.
"I'll be at the end of my restless rope" love that.
It's beautiful. I still want her gone, but she did really well! It's just given the choice, I'm always going to pick two Davids over one David. Sorry lady.

A Little Too Not Over You
This was the best snippet when I was first hearing leaks, and so it has a winning spot for that alone XD But also, it is nice and fast, the way I prefer my music.
It's almost boybandish, which IS a compliment, because it is my goal in life to see David form a boyband with himself four times over. David x 5 will be awesome. Remember "David is greater than all boybands" is still true (SORRY BSB, ILU STILL) but that's because he should BE ONE. KEEP THE BRASS RING IN SIGHT, OKAY.
His runs are excellent as usual, and he never overdoes it, which was a complaint I had/have for a lot of popular female singers. There is a tendency to need to do crazy runs ALL OVER THE PLACE even though it takes away from the song, and I don't think David has that problem at all. THANK GOD.
This could make a really good single (OR BARRIERS, BARRIERS ANYONE???).

Okay, sorry, what's with the whispered "Maaaafia" at the beginning? Is David recruiting? He secretly is the Godfather? What's up?
"Words keep falling out of my heart" is an awesome lyric because it seems very David. He is so direct and open in a vulnerably unintentional (and therefore GENUINE) way. I like that these songs are not about things that David can't relate to at all. He's not singing about cheating or macking or playin' or his baby mama or whatever, which is good, because I would not be able to take it.
And I am 100% convinced that this song is written by David to "track" or "cross-country" because he loves it so much. Track/CC is his other "boo." Pancakes now has competition! OH NOES!!
But seriously, it's all about "running, without you I've got nothing" and whatever, you can say I took those lyrics out of context all you want, you are not changing my mind on this one. This is a love song. From David. To Running. FACT.
Did he really say "I've got my fit shoes"? AHAHAHAHA. ILU DAVID. SERIOUSLY. ILU. A LOT.
And here they got it right! He duets with himself again. THANK GOD (Jeff)!

Oh we're back to Barriers! And it gets another review because it is THAT GOOD. It has the best hook, it pulls me in instantly, first of all. Every. Time. EVERY FREAKING TIME. With the "heh!" and then David doing some 'yeaaaah's and such.
He hits the lyric "hitting" harder than the surrounding lyrics, which I like. also the way he says "never ending."
I still think the echo is the greatest thing I've heard in the entire world. Locks (LOCKS!), Crimes (CRIMES!), Tears (TEARS!), Lies (LIES!) I could marry that. I could. If I don't marry Vulture, I am marrying those lyrics.
"baby I don't THINK so" is still fabulous.
I don't know if I can explain why this is fabulous. This might actually be one of those holy "beyond comprehension of mere mortals" things. ALL I CAN DO IS BE ON THE GRATEFUL RECEIVING END.
"cuz the world's trying to stop ya, stop ya" is heart-crunching also.

You Can
Country sounding - with the guitar and everything. Yeah, a bit reminiscent of a folky song, but still poppy. I'm not really a slow-song kind of person, but David somehow keeps getting me to listen to them, haha. "for now I'll just pretend"? I like that part.
"the eyes of someone you could love" is really beautiful also... I like that line's notes, because when it repeats with different words, that is my favorite part of that paragraph as well.
Yeah, there's a very country/folk feel to this song. Even the way he sings "I knooooow" feels like he just barely held back a twang in his voice.
I think if this were to be a single, he'd either have to sing it more country at some point in his life, or someone else will cover it and throw in the twangs. Maybe that's too obvious of a thing to do, but hell, if I was a country star, I would totally take the opportunity to cover a DA song.
BarriersNO WAY. I JUST GOT BARRIERS AGAIN. But don't worry, I will not keep going on about it. Plenty of time for that later. XD Oh I did all the songs now, so that's why. Okay. DONE.

ETA: I am told that the Miley people actually wrote "your eyes don't lie" and it BLEW MY MIND. Not kidding. BLEW MY MIND. Because I really thought differently. But hey, turns out I was wrong on that - otherwise I stand by my opinion XD
ETA: Why do I keep using "ETA" when that means "expected time of arrival"? I HAVE NO IDEA. I MEAN "EDIT" but.... just know that it is code for edit.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

David and Charice duet?

From MasterClass Lady:

'I think I have finally found a duet partner for David Archuleta - Charice Pempengo.

Watch this video closely and allow your jaws to drop to the floor.

Her technical skills are absolutely brilliant -beyond phenomenal. Also, her performing skills are beyond comprehension as well - so confident and so expressive.

Another vocal prodigy on the horizon!'

I remember watching this Ellen episode with my mom. We were both just in total amazement by her - that voice coming out of such a teeny girl. Ah, I want them to duet! I love it. Great pick, MCL. Edit: We are psychic. Thanks.

amy edit: sorry, bb, but davey tops her even with his prepubescent voice. YEEEAH DIVA GRRRRRRROWWWWWLS.




Tuesday, October 28, 2008

David is stealthy like a ninja!





Click first screencap for more!