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Snarky Archies delivers rapid-fire, snarky goofy commentary about David Archuleta 24-7. We're fans of David even if we sometimes poke a little fun at him. Got some pictures, news or commentary you think we'd enjoy? E-mail us at wearethesnarkyarchies@gmail.com, or tweet us at @snarkyarchies. And don't forget to comment and immerse yourself in the glory of the Archuleta.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I love Lady GaGa and Air Force Amy and Priscilla Presley

(Yes, I am still on this.)



Just by posing in pictures with David, in mildly inappropriate ways -- hanging off him, David, king of sweetness and innocence, while they are either a) dressed in underwear, b) a porn star, or c) Elvis's ex-wife -- they are giving him such...cred. I don't even know. Like, it's funny as heck, and it's something NON-fans would find funny, and actually gets him really great publicity, because they might see the pics, which have been posted ALL OVER CELEBRITY GOSSIP BLOGS, which get HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS hits per day, think, 'Isn't that the cute kid from Idol? Ahahaha, what is this chick doing hanging off him?' and heck, they might even start YouTubing him in amusement, and once you start YouTubing David, you don't stop.

IT'S WILD. I ADORE IT. I LOVE YOU, LADY GAGA. PLEASE CONTINUE TO HANG OFF OF HIM.

Do you know how much better he looks with these people posing with him (AND T-PAINE, and can we get a pic of him and KANYE?) than, say, Miley Cyrus or some Disney Star? I can't even accurately express why I'm so excited. I JUST AM.

ALSO. BRITNEY SPEARS OR CHRISTINA AGUILERA -- PLEASE POSE WITH DAVID.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

'A THOUSAND MILES' video at Tree Lighting!

Credit: jwipe


Video 2.
Video 3.
Video 4.
Video 5. (good quality)
Video 6.


I LOVE HIM. THIS. THIS IS PERFECTION. THE VOICE. THE PIANO. AHHHHHH.

Oh, my heart. MY HEART! This is just amazing. Idek, guys. KABOOOOM.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Dark Widow Of Graceland Feeds On Virginal Elvis

SETH. ILU.


'At a Cedars-Sinai benefit last night at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza, the animated woodland creatures that typically accompany David Archuleta wherever he goes were shooed away by idol-feeding succubus Priscilla Presley, who quickly drained the rosy tint from his cheeks. Hours later, he arose from a shallow dirt grave to take on his new, immortal form -- as ELVISULA, Hip-Gyrating Prince of Darkness'

Source.

The Defamer was inspired by the NY Post, which also covered David's near-death experience:
I'm sorry to all the Priscilla Presley fans out there, but there is something so 'I need the blood of a young virgin' about this photo, I couldn't help myself. I mean, the claws nails, how she appears to be going right for David's jugular and of course, the catlike way with which the now feline-looking actress seems to have appeared out of nowhere to pounc on the adorable Archuleta.

But even in the face of being sucked dry, David remains a total pro - never grimacing or showing fear since it was all in the name of charity anyway.

Archuleta was 'attacked' at the fourth annual Road To A Cure Gala last night in Hollywood, which was in honor of David's 'American Idol' brother from another mother, Ryan Seacrest.

I wonder if the real reason Ryan likes hanging around David is because the 17-year-old's one of the only stars in town that makes Ryan look like a giant?