Snarky Archies delivers rapid-fire, snarky goofy commentary about David Archuleta 24-7. We're fans of David even if we sometimes poke a little fun at him. Got some pictures, news or commentary you think we'd enjoy? E-mail us at wearethesnarkyarchies@gmail.com, or tweet us at @snarkyarchies. And don't forget to comment and immerse yourself in the glory of the Archuleta.

Monday, November 18, 2013


I made a forum. IDK why, don't ask. I think I just wanted to see if I could and also, where do people even talk nowadays? All the usual suspects are disappeared. Also, I've been having some complaints about comments not working...so head on over to the swanky new forum!

Right now it's just Misty and Myrtle playing with things. It's kinda ghetto, but most forums are pretty ghetto, eh?

Who has watched Orange is the New Black, btw? It's pretty good. Not as good as American Horror Story, but...few things are.


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Um so

I was digging through archives, trying to find one of Dana's glorious Christmas Paint-ings, and instead I found an old post by Raychul the Great, where she was going crazy over a song called Best Behavior, which I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN EVER EXISTED.

Anyway, while stuck in traffic yesterday, I found the YouTube with Matt Wertz singing and it's pretty catchy? Why wasn't this a thing? It's not what I was expecting AT ALL.

You're welcome. THROWBACK TUESDAY.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Past Two Years of Pop Culture (aka She's Just Bein' Miley for One of Them)

So I had this killer gem of an idea when Dana told me Miley was smoking a joint on stage: let's do a two-year round-up of all the vital pop cultural events that Davis surely hasn't been keeping tabs on. Right now all I've got in my head is Miley Cyrus, so please offer suggestions and I'll add them on.

Come on in! Click below.

David thinks he is greater than all bunnies.

 photo image.jpg      

(He is not.)

(But this is quite the work of art. Yeah?)

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

David Archuleta The Album, 5 Years Later, With 2 Years of No Listening

It's no big surprise that me and Dana fell off the fanbase bandwagon a few years ago. I think it was somewhere between No Tour Ever for TOSOD, Melinda The Destroyer, and various other messy debacles that I have since erased from my memory.

On a recent roadtrip -- actually, at the END of a recent roadtrip -- Dana and I gave David Archuleta The Album a listen, the first listen in...like...legit, 3 years? And it was 12 a.m. and only a 15 minute drive from the airport, so together we only listened to Crush and Barriers. And we had forgotten ALL THE LYRICS. It was quite breathtaking.

Dana had a 4 hour drive home the next day, and sent me a sheepish text admitting that she was listening to David Archuleta The Album on her drive. I guffawed vigorously and asked if she was crying to You Can. Well, curiosity got the best of me and I gave the red CD that was not Taylor Swift (let's be real -- Red is the superior CD because of All Too Well) a listen yesterday. When I didn't recognize half the songs, I had the idea to give the album a review.

As a disclaimer, since people love to think I am an evil mastermind, this was my ONLY idea involving this website's resurgence. In fact, I kept telling Asterix to stop taunting people. :P (Dana sidenote: Pshhh. You know you encouraged this behavior! Bahaha. Amy: I DID NOT ENCOURAGE YOUR TWITTER BEHAVIOR. Though I did encourage you bringing Snarkies back, for some mysterious reason...) All of it was Dana, who was driven to insanity on a 5 hour car ride through the Cali Central Valley -- SERIOUSLY WHY IS THERE NOTHING THERE. What else do you do but revisit the past?

So here we go! Album review, 5 years later. Almost to the DAY, as I used the internet archive machine to pull up my old review, WHICH I HAVE NOT READ. This is so fresh and so clean-clean.

Please feel free to disagree! I am sure everything sounds different to EVERYONE five years later, right? What do you guys think?

1. Crush

Amy: I still like this one. Pretty catchy.

Dana: Well, the ayayayaya parts are annoying. Sorry! But it is poppy and catchy. Still enjoy listening to it, minus the ayayayaya bit.

2. Touch My Hand

Amy: LOL. I can't. I mean...it's so cheesy. I always thought it was cheesy but it's a fun concert song...I guess...

Dana: Eh. Trying to think of something nice to say. :) It is so cheesy and five-years later the lyrics are almost cringeworthy. Eh. But! I can understand why fangirls loved (love?) it.

3. Barriers

Amy: Oh my gosh, this is the song that Dana requested that got the CD listening started. I don't remember anything, but it's pretty great. I think this sounds like something Miley would dirty up now. Throw in some references to Molly and ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE US and MY DARLINNNN' and we're there, peeps. We are THERE.

Dana: Ohhhh, I still really like this song.

4. My Hands

Amy: This was mine and Dana's concert song. We made up hand motions and all. It's still pretty funny, and it definitely brings back nice memories. It's more boring than I remember, though.

Dana: This was our concert song. :) Good memories. Idk, though, I don't really like the lyrics. The robe and alarm clock and weather channel-uh are just too weird for me. Haha. But it is fun to sing and dance to...still.


Amy: THE BEST. No, really, I LOVE it. It's so catchy and boppy. It's like BOOM AND BOOM AND BOOM. Idk, I love it. The best song on the album.

Dana: I really like this song, too. It still sounds very current and poppy. His voice is spot-on and I just really like it. Second favorite on album.

6. You Can

Amy: Um. Well. It SOUNDS pretty, but I'd definitely say the lyrics are...lacking? But it sounds nice.

Dana: Ok. This song is embarrassing. I can't even. The lyrics are lame-o and I'm trying to understand why I liked it so much? Hmm. But, yeah, his voice does sound nice. And it is a pretty song. But. I just...can't.

7. Running

Amy: Kinda...skipped it...it's a skipper!

Dana: Eh. I don't know what else to say about it besides...eh. Sorryyy. I did hear this in The Buckle the other day and it confused the heck outta me. Lolz. But honestly, not even sure if I would have recognized what song it was if I had not just half-listened to his album. Oy!

8. Desperate

Amy: This wasn't that bad. I mean. The lyrics are kinda weird. I don't remember them at all. Something about reaching out for hands. Or holding something. Why are all the songs about hands and holding onto things. JUST LET IT GO.

Dana: Hmm, not really feeling this song. I remember semi-liking it when it came out. But I can't even get through the whole song now. It is too theatrical or... something. Idk.

9. To Be With You

Amy: Eh. I always pushed this song aside into "boring," and therefore, it kinda snuck over into "I secretly hate it" land, but really, it's not bad. Just boring.

Dana: I think I actually like this better than You Can, actually. Haha. Oh, how times have changed! Catch me in five years, y'all.

10. Don't Let Go

Amy: THE WORST. I honestly didn't recognize this song AT ALL. I had no idea what it was. It's soooo boring. I hate the melody, the lyrics, the voice. I think I always secretly hated it but never wanted to admit it because other people loved it. Oop. Sorry. I actually only listened till it got to the bridge, hoooping that it'd pick up and I'd see why people loved it so, but damn it, it was only some line about weather! WHY DOES IT NEVER PICK UP?!

Dana: Ugh, still do not like this song. Skip!

11. Your Eyes Don't Lie

Amy: I really dig this song today. I didn't recognize it at first, but I like the whistling and the sass way more today than I did back in the day. It's pretty hilarious. And whistling has gotten so popular, yo. I bet Flo Rida's Whistle was inspired by this song. Don't you think? Blow my whistle, baby, whistle baby, yeah, 'cause your eyes don't lie.

Dana: Ok, I admit it. I really like this song. My favorite! It is sassy and hip (? lol) and catchy. I just really like the whistling. I wish I could whistle. Dododododoooo.

12. Angels

Amy: I think I actually HATE this recording of Angels. It's boring. His voice sounds boring, the melody sounds boring. Every single live version of this song is better than this recording. I actually skipped it halfway through because I couldn't take it. What gives? Why is this so bad?

Dana: Yeah, I don't like this version either. It is dull and boringggg. I think I listened to the first verse and skipped the rest.

13. Works For Me

Amy: I still like this one. It's sassy like YEDL, y'all, I love the sass. But did it really work out just fine? I'm just saaaayin'.

Dana: This is still one of my favorites. It is definitely sassy and I like the vibe.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

I must confess I still believe (still believe).



Why have I been listening to Davis' first CD? Uh. I LEGIT HAVE NOT LISTENED TO ANY OF HIS MUSIC SINCE 2011. WHY ME.


I didn't even know he made a cover cd (that about makes * cry. Why the depressing songs, bro? Like, did we really need another reason for "Angel" to make us weep? Are abused puppies not enough?!) or that he made a Filipino album. (Josh Bradley ftw.)

And now I'm all like "Barriers, yeah!" and attempting to whistle to YEDL and laughing as I remember how he copied *'s "My Hands" moves.



*burns cd*

I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

So... this is late.


Heehee. Asterix is made of brilliance.

Look. Totorototorototoro and Davis Archulettaaa go trick-or-treating.