Snarky Archies delivers rapid-fire, snarky goofy commentary about David Archuleta 24-7. We're fans of David even if we sometimes poke a little fun at him. Got some pictures, news or commentary you think we'd enjoy? E-mail us at wearethesnarkyarchies@gmail.com, or tweet us at @snarkyarchies. And don't forget to comment and immerse yourself in the glory of the Archuleta.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Dark Widow Of Graceland Feeds On Virginal Elvis


'At a Cedars-Sinai benefit last night at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza, the animated woodland creatures that typically accompany David Archuleta wherever he goes were shooed away by idol-feeding succubus Priscilla Presley, who quickly drained the rosy tint from his cheeks. Hours later, he arose from a shallow dirt grave to take on his new, immortal form -- as ELVISULA, Hip-Gyrating Prince of Darkness'


The Defamer was inspired by the NY Post, which also covered David's near-death experience:
I'm sorry to all the Priscilla Presley fans out there, but there is something so 'I need the blood of a young virgin' about this photo, I couldn't help myself. I mean, the claws nails, how she appears to be going right for David's jugular and of course, the catlike way with which the now feline-looking actress seems to have appeared out of nowhere to pounc on the adorable Archuleta.

But even in the face of being sucked dry, David remains a total pro - never grimacing or showing fear since it was all in the name of charity anyway.

Archuleta was 'attacked' at the fourth annual Road To A Cure Gala last night in Hollywood, which was in honor of David's 'American Idol' brother from another mother, Ryan Seacrest.

I wonder if the real reason Ryan likes hanging around David is because the 17-year-old's one of the only stars in town that makes Ryan look like a giant?

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