Dark Widow Of Graceland Feeds On Virginal Elvis

SETH. ILU.


'At a Cedars-Sinai benefit last night at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza, the animated woodland creatures that typically accompany David Archuleta wherever he goes were shooed away by idol-feeding succubus Priscilla Presley, who quickly drained the rosy tint from his cheeks. Hours later, he arose from a shallow dirt grave to take on his new, immortal form -- as ELVISULA, Hip-Gyrating Prince of Darkness'

Source.

The Defamer was inspired by the NY Post, which also covered David's near-death experience:

I'm sorry to all the Priscilla Presley fans out there, but there is something so 'I need the blood of a young virgin' about this photo, I couldn't help myself. I mean, the claws nails, how she appears to be going right for David's jugular and of course, the catlike way with which the now feline-looking actress seems to have appeared out of nowhere to pounc on the adorable Archuleta.

But even in the face of being sucked dry, David remains a total pro - never grimacing or showing fear since it was all in the name of charity anyway.

Archuleta was 'attacked' at the fourth annual Road To A Cure Gala last night in Hollywood, which was in honor of David's 'American Idol' brother from another mother, Ryan Seacrest.

I wonder if the real reason Ryan likes hanging around David is because the 17-year-old's one of the only stars in town that makes Ryan look like a giant?